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For a lot of us, the only time we look at our money is when something is wrong. A charge you do not recognize, a bill that came in higher, a balance that feels off. So your body learns that opening the bank app means bad news, and you avoid it the way you avoid a voicemail from a number you do not know.
The money date breaks that loop. It is the first ritual I teach: twenty minutes, once a week, same day, same time, where you sit with your numbers and fix nothing. You look, you write a few things down, you close the laptop. Repeat it for a month and looking at your money becomes a habit you own.
Mine happens in the morning, before I check my socials. For me, mornings are like breakfast, the first meal of the day: they set the tone for the rest of the day and for my goals. I crack open a Bloom or make a cafe con leche, open Monarch Money, and scroll my recent transactions to make sure there are no surprise purchases or alerts. I check that my upcoming bills are taken care of, and I look at any goal that might need attention before its deadline. I'm usually still in my pj's. I'd rather get to the point and get it OUT of my way so I can move on with my life.
What to bring
Your phone or laptop with every account you have, including the ones you avoid. Something to write on. Something to sip. Your phone on do not disturb, because the group chat can wait twenty minutes.
You don't always need to light a candle. I like to light incense and talk to my crystal, so you do you, boo. Do what feels right; the point is to skip the overthinking and just do it.
The twenty minutes, step by step
Minutes one to five: look at every balance. Checking, savings, every card, every loan. Write each number down without commentary. You are taking attendance.
Minutes five to ten: scroll the week. Every charge since your last date. Next to each one, a letter: R, Y or G, the Traffic Light from chapter 3 of my book. Red for the fixed must pays, yellow for the necessary things that move (groceries, gas), green for joy. Sort only; the judging can sit this one out.
Minutes ten to fifteen: check what is coming. Bills due before your next date, any subscription about to renew, any birthday or trip that is going to ask for money. Write them down so nothing surprises you on a Tuesday.
Minutes fifteen to twenty: one small decision. One. Move twenty dollars to savings, cancel the app you forgot you pay for, call about the bill that went up. Then stop. The win is that you showed up, and one decision a week adds up to fifty two a year.
Making it stick
Put it on your calendar as a recurring event with a name you like, emoji encouraged. If you share money with a partner, do your solo date first, then a short joint one once a month where you each bring your notes.
Miss a week? Show up the next one and leave the guilt at the door.
Want the ritual in a box
The Money Date Kit is free and gives you a worksheet so you are not staring at a blank page on date one: https://mail.therichhermana.com/products/the-money-date-kit
And if you want the whole experience, the Money Date Care Package is a signed copy of my book, a stationery kit (pen, highlighter, bookmark, coaster, the works) and the Money Starter Guide, hand packed and mailed from Miami: https://mail.therichhermana.com/products/money-date-care-package
One thing before Friday: put the first date on your calendar and keep it. Then tell us what you are drinking at it in Hermana HQ, the free community where people post their money wins and their very serious incense opinions: https://mail.therichhermana.com/community
Con amor, Ixamar 🪴
This is education from my own experience, never personalized financial advice.